81 thoughts on “19 Reasons Why Nobody Cares About Your Feelings?”

      • According to your list, I am doing everything “right” but I still have no one. The only people who include me in their lives do so when they need something from me, whether money, time, support, whatever. Once they get whatever it is they need from me, they ignore me. The closest thing I have to friends to spend time with is a couple people who every now and then will let me tag along as long as I stay in the background and do exactly what they want. I am never picky about what we do, where we go, who is there, anything. There are things that I would prefer, yes, but no one cares what I want so Ive learned to keep that to myself. If I express anything I want, like “hey, can we go to this restaurant for lunch?” or, “Can we do this activity today?” I either get ignored or they get mad that I expressed an opinion other than theirs. And then they won’t spend time with me anymore. This is not a situation where I just need new friends at this point in life. This has been every person I have had in my life, including my family. How I feel or what I want has never mattered to anyone. All I do is give. I’m completely drained and just want someone to give to me. I don’t want money or stuff, just time and care. I don’t complain about it or ask for it from people because I want people to spend time with me because they like me, not because they feel sorry for me. I’ve always dealt with pain on my own because I know nobody likes a person as unhappy as me. So I keep it to myself. The few people I have thought cared enough for me that I could be somewhat honest with (I’ve never been completely honest with just how alone and empty I am because it would overwhelm anyone) have ignored me as soon as they realized they would have to put forth some effort too. So I’m just honest enough with people to seem like a normal person who has good days and bad days but is generally happy. And if I had just a couple friends that cared about me, I would be that person exactly. But no one sees me as worth any effort…..so I guess I’m just saying, your list isn’t complete, because if it was, I would have people who care about me and want to spend time with me because they genuinely like me, but I don’t. I don’t know what would make it complete, but it’s missing something. Or the alternative is, there are some people that just have no significance and never will no matter what they do. I hope the first is the correct one. But what I have seen in life leans me towards believing the later. If I were to vanish tomorrow, the only living creature that would be impacted emotionally at all would be my dog. I do believe she would miss me.

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        • Hi Dear,
          I understand your situation and got your point. First of all, thank you so much for taking time and expressing your views. I know it takes a lot of effort express oneself fully. I’ll update this article as per your feedback.
          Coming to your query. Most of the people in this world are like this only. People will come to you when they need something from you and that’s a harsh truth. I have been through same situation. But what I have learnt from such phase is that there is difference between being alone and feel lonely.
          Being alone is absolutely fine but feeling lonely is not. What I mean by this?
          If I know about myself in a better way and I am fine with spending time with myself happily then I might be alone but I won’t feel lonely. After such phases, I started exploring about my interests and skills. I started making myself better in those areas. In fact, being alone gives me a lot of time which I can spend with myself. Looking at it from spiritual perspective, it is an amazing opportunity to understand about the basic meaning of life and existence. Not to be sad about it. Rather exploring how life is expressing itself in various forms on this planet.
          Practicing meditation, writing journal, reading good books, autobiographies of great people and thinking about how we can create an impact in our won life and in this world too. Thinking about how we can leave a legacy behind us.
          Always remember, you are awesome. Because you are the only one like you. No one can ever replace you and that’s the beauty.
          I’d love to listen from you.
          God bless you! Cheers!

          Reply
        • At times most genuine and honest people like you face such difficulty and I can completely feel the pain that you feel completely abandoned by your family and even worse case when by your own parents. This is nothing to do with you as a person. We all exists on earth by sheer love and compassion from God.. please feel that unconditional love. You could never ever get than from any other human. Please love yourself and then everything fall in place.
          Loads of love and blessings to you!

          Reply
        • At times most genuine and honest people like you face such difficulty and I can completely feel the pain that you feel completely abandoned by your family and even worse case when by your own parents. This is nothing to do with you as a person. We all exists on earth by sheer love and compassion from God.. please feel that unconditional love. You could never ever get than from any other human. Please love yourself and then everything fall in place.
          Loads of love and blessings to you!

          Reply
        • I’m with you lonely, I personally think this list is not aimed at us and is misleading in its title. Yes, if your operating from a narrative that your the centre of the universe then, yes, it is applicable. If you are subject to ongoing emotional neglect because others are too busy Or if your authentic self doesn’t fit the society you are in then this list is not for you I’m with you. The only thing that will be emotionally impacted will be my dog.

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        • Took me a long time to figure out I’m better off alone. Yeah I hear you; you do everything for everyone else and they don’t care. Well guess what? You’re better off without them…. Their “problems” are exactly that, theirs, not yours. Stop wasting your time and energy on people who don’t give a shit; do something for yourself. Guess what? If someone doesn’t like you it’s not your problem, it’s THEIR problem! Why should you care what someone thinks if they don’t give a shit about you? The best thing you can do and the best present you can ever give yourself is to not give a shit yourself.

          Please note; I didn’t say not give a shit ABOUT yourself, just don’t give a shit that nobody else does. It’s THEIR problem, not yours!!! Don’t take on responsibility for other people’s problems or flaws; there’s nothing you can do about that! Don’t cast your pearls before swine; do something for someone worthy; YOU!!!

          I hate to say this but you have to beat the world at its own game and not give a shit too. Otherwise you’ll be jousting every windmill you come across.

          Why do something for people who don’t deserve or appreciate it?! Why waste your time with people like that?!

          You are the only person that can make you happy, nobody else can, trust me. You’ll just drive yourself nuts and end up with endless disappointment if you put your happiness in other people’s hands.

          The harsh truth is; people suck! Yes, the are selfish heartless bastards and only seem to care about people who don’t care. Let the mindless masses worship their own selfishness and do something for yourself cause Lord knows…..nobody else will.

          Give a shit less about others and more about yourself. I REALLY hate to say that but it’s the only way to survive.

          Stop expecting people to be human. Tables don’t turn into chairs and things either work or they don’t. Stop investing effort in relationships that don’t work.

          “You can lead a horse to water but you’ll never be able to convince him he’s really a jackass…“

          -Me 2018

          Screw those people; blow them out of your life like a turd out your ass because they are truly shit! (Seriously though, they are; why waste your time).

          Sure, give people a chance but feel free and be ready to flush at any time. There’s a lot to be said for being a “Soup Nazi”.

          Someone wants to be a selfish assole?

          “NO soup for you……NEXT!!!”

          😉

          (Ps, that isn’t my real name or email address 😉 )

          Reply
        • I almost forgot; not only do they not care about you, they don’t care about each other….

          Now I know what you’re saying and you think they do but they actually don’t. Under the right circumstances they’ll abandon each other. I’ve seen it happen and these people were close for almost 50 years. The irony of this is I had just recent thought that, “If ________had a problem, there would be some type of intersection” only for that to actually happen and everyone ran away from this guy. The thing is, he REALLY needed help and these were the people most likely to help him. It was at that point I realized it wasn’t anything personal with me. Sure, they were closer to him than me but they still abandoned him when he needed them most. Don’t worry about these selfish people; blow them out of your life!

          Listen, even people that truest love you are selfish fuckers, so don’t worry about it. Their selfishness is not your problem .

          Reply
    • Hi Maria, thanks for stopping by and reading.
      Nobody is perfect. But the people who are loved, at least they are perfect through the eyes of people who love them. Purpose of the article is not to criticize but to understand how we can be better by identifying what we are doing wrong. I have gone through the same journey myself when I used to think the same way. But working on myself has made things better.

      Reply
  1. God this feels like total victim-blaming. People who think this way need support, not another reason to think it’s their fault. It’s true that people need to work on themselves, but they also need help from others especially when they can no longer handle it.

    Reply
    • Hi, it would have been great if you had mentioned your name. But I really appreciate sharing your honest view.
      I agree that people need support. But the sooner someone takes the responsibility, the better it becomes. I have been there, done that.
      Purpose of the article is not to criticize but to understand how we can be better by identifying what we are doing wrong. I have gone through the same journey myself when I used to think the same way. I too was seeking help, but honestly, nobody helps except your own self. And when you realise this bitter truth and take the ownership, things start to become better.

      Reply
      • I guess that could be true to a point. I come from a group of people that shit on me and everyone else. They alienated me from everyone. I mean people can only do so much “improvement”. People will always find reasons to shit on you from my experience.

        Reply
      • So do you mean we have to work on ourselves and then again go to ppl to entertain them and make them feel special just to be accepted or loved by them who ruined us before and traumatized us just bc we are social animals and we cannot process in isolation? Ppl need to understand that not everyone of them is very intoxicating and healed or mental or behaviorally healthy as person they are creating problems too this list feels more like victim blaming im not saying this from no place of insecurities but what I’ve seen they make you feel like things are wrong w/ you and make you feel like an outsider just because they are insecure.

        Reply
        • Hi Zara, I totally understand how people behave at times. But more than that, it is important to understand how we look at ourselves. We need to stop seeking approval from others and be happy with how we are. And from that space, we have to become better every single day, bit by bit.

          Reply
    • I agree with you. People who do any of these things have underlying issues and deserve care and support. Not to be hit with this insensitive article. How ironic. It tells you to be giving to others and compassionate towards them, when the person who created this is being very critical and judgemental of people who feel this way. People who do any of these things are obviously hurt and need help, not this. This has made me so angry.

      Reply
      • I can understand you anger. My language might be crude, harsh or critical. I am really sorry for that.
        I agree with you that such people need external support and compassion. I have gone through such phase, myself, faced it and overcame suicidal tendencies.
        What I learnt through all this is that one has to become strong and make personal efforts to overcome it. If you get some sort of support, that’s awesome. But one has to make personal efforts to come out of it. We may agree to disagree.
        Appreciate your honest feedback. Thanks for taking time to stop by. Cheers!

        Reply
    • Totally agree with you. This guy speaks in absolutes and doesn’t seem to have any idea about psychology, magnetic attraction between cluster B personalities or how your thoughts can affect your situation.

      He talks about molding yourself so others will love you, yet he can’t even proof read before publishing something.

      Also talking about self-awareness when he can’t even accept criticism. Lol.

      Reply
  2. People who are loved aren’t necessarily perfect in the eyes of people who love them. Rather they are accepted and loved despite their flaws.

    Reply
  3. I am really inspired along with your writing talents and also
    with the format on your blog. Is this a paid topic or did you modify it yourself?

    Anyway keep up the excellent high quality writing, it is uncommon to see a great weblog like this one
    today..

    Reply
  4. Burn in Hell Keshav! Many people are out there with severe mental and physical illness, much of which is incurable! Are these people responsible somehow for their plight? One day you may end up in their place, so don’t blame people for their problems. Who are you to judge?

    Reply
    • I can understand your anger. My way of talking might be crude and harsh. I am sorry for that.
      I agree such people may need external support during that phase. I myself has gone through it, faced it and overcame suicidal tendencies.
      What I learnt through all this is that one has to become strong and make personal efforts to overcome it. We may agree to disagree.
      Appreciate your honest feedback. Thanks for taking time to stop by. Cheers!

      Reply
  5. You’ve made some decent points there. I looked on the internet for more info about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this site.|

    Reply
  6. Thanks Keshav for this. Everything is making sense to me now. But sometimes, the fault comes from the other side , not us. Some people never gon’ appreciate you no matter what you do.

    Reply
  7. I heard a phrase many years ago that stuck with me. “If I am not part of the problem, there is no solution.” We do have to take a hard look at how we’re contributing to the issue, even if it is recognizing we could need treatment for a mental health condition or recognizing we are unrealistic about our expectations of others. That’s what has led me to find your article.

    I have been feeling like my husband’s family doesn’t care about me after asking them to do something small for them to – just write an email to a new email account I created so that I can keep all of them up to date on my husband’s health. Saves me from having to recreate an address book (makes it easier on me) and makes sure I have the email address they want me to use. I always help his family when they call me with questions, so I thought I was making a reasonable request. Turns out I was wrong. I was asking for too much effort on their part.

    So I have to agree with the bulk of your article. I can see myself at different times in different scenarios of what you describe. In this case, I wanted people to act a certain way (#14) and they did not, which resulted in nasty posts on FB that accessed my (#6) emotional over-reactivity.

    People in general don’t truly, deeply care they way we want them to, and that’s the key. I have to accept the depth of caring they have for me, whether deep or shallow, and focus on the things I enjoy doing and the people I feel true connection with (not many), and learn to be ok with that. Thank you for writing that the answer isn’t easy and it isn’t just be more positive.

    Reply
  8. Hey there! This post could not be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my previous room mate!

    He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this write-up to him.
    Fairly certain he will have a good read. Many thanks
    for sharing!

    Reply
  9. I see some contradictions in your article. I see some points but sometimes fitting in is not worth it. People will always fond something wrong with you or some flaws.

    Reply
    • Thanks Jane for sharing views. Yes, we don’t need to fit in always. First, we need to be comfortable and kind with ourselves.

      Reply
    • I haven’t taken done any Professional course yet. Whatever I have learnt till now is based on my own personal experience.

      Reply
      • yeah i get people may have undesirable traits but none of what you said makes sense? you literally are telling people that if they have NORMAL problems and EMOTIONS that it makes sense they are unloved and feel unloved? You should not be posting things like this unless you are a professional, which you stated you are not. Remove this post. You dont deserve to post things on the internet. i would slap you if I could

        Reply
  10. Right here is the right blog for anyone who would like to
    understand this topic. You know so much its almost tough to argue
    with you (not that I personally would want to…HaHa).

    You definitely put a fresh spin on a topic which has been discussed for many years.
    Great stuff, just great!

    Reply
  11. I like this article.
    It is a hard cold fact of life, people!
    The problem is, sometimes it takes a while before someone is ready to see their flaws. They will see themselves as the victim or the one that is mistreated until they realize that if they stopped looking for someone to care, and started caring about themselves, the feeling would pass, and before they know it they may actually be enjoying themselves.
    But then, sometimes we just don’t feel good. We are icky inside, headache, sore, tired, and overwhelmed with no home, have to move out of current space, wishing for a positive upbeat day to get things done, and — nope. This is the way we wake up. We simply can’t bring it to the table, we are exhausted. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally.
    All I wanted today was to actually feel good within myself. Because I didn’t, I found myself becoming more needy of others to reach out to me. When I couldn’t seem to get any response, I fell farther into my self pity. Which is where I was when I found your article.

    The reality, people, is this. If you don’t like what this man has to say, then stop reading it, and go the hell away. If you don’t like that he isn’t a professional, mind your own business, and go away. The internet isn’t solely for professional people, stop commenting just to be rude! It takes a lot to put your information out there. It takes a lot of courage to have an opinion that others don’t share. If you don’t share his opinion, go the hell away and shut up. Find the answers you want to hear elsewhere!!! But don’t demean the man because you don’t agree! Shame on all of you that would rather insult a person than to just click another article. He is a blogger. He has a right to his opinion, and to be honest, he is right. RIGHT!!
    It takes maturity to learn the hard facts of life.

    Paula

    Reply
    • Hey Paula, thank you so much for supporting me. You are right in saying this is the real life which people often seem to ignore.
      We all have fancy ideals about life where we imagine people to be always nice to us and care about our feelings. Most of the people keep on seeking approval from others. But when the reality hits hard, they are not ready to take it. But that’s the crude reality of life. I really appreciate for sharing your views and understanding my viewpoint. And don’t worry about what others are saying. I really don’t care. If my writings are helping even one person to understand the reality and I am happy 🙂

      Reply
  12. I regularly feel like no one cares about me. I think one thing that needs mentioning is those of us in the spectrum can try really hard to make friends but don’t have the ‘body language’ tools that neurotypicals seem to have who seem to breeze through this stuff.

    Reply
    • Hey, don’t worry about others. Just be comfortable with yourself first and acknowledge the fact that you are awesome. Make efforts to become better day after day.

      Reply
  13. thanks a lot for making feel even worse about myself and also fill me with even more anxiety than I had before because now i think everybody thinks of me in the ways that you listed

    Reply
    • I am sorry if this made you feel like that. In this article, I just tried to share different perspectives. But the most important thing is to look at ourselves with respect and love. There is no need to seek approval from others. Accept the way we are and strive to become better gradually.

      Reply
  14. No one is perfect. I tend to be quiet. I do have thoughts, but I don’t believe others find value in my opinions. When I have told a small story in the past, others will correct every tiny detail “no it was very cloudy”. I give up, at that point. I won’t argue about being right. People seem to come and go without notice. I have never had a birthday event, or invitation. When family goes for an outing, they just leave. I asked they leave a note or at least locked the door behind them. They say I’m home, so what’s the point.
    I only exist if their computer or device isn’t working.
    I don’t know why these people are my family. They are so loud. They listen to “music” which is akin to banshees dying. They dress like they are homeless. One was arrested for public drunkenness. They make comments about how I don’t like anything. I’m just not interested in being reckless. What is wrong with book clubs, murder mystery dinners, art, history, science, the god debate, and falling asleep under the stars?

    I’m going to work on judging less.

    Reply
  15. Hi, First of all, thanks for putting this article. I liked your intention to bail people of their situations and appreciate you for that. But really sorry to say none of the points are valid. I am always giving, make people special, never complain,never brag, care for others,never be judgemental, never do I feel special enough. I was never able to make friends by having all the good virtues It’s so coincidental that all the points you mentioned are so relevant to me but in the opposite way. It’s not easy to understand life. If at all this, article helped someone, I ll be more than happy. For at least it works and your effort serves the purpose. Once again, I am sorry. As I said, I really appreciate you for coming up with this article.

    Reply
  16. I have two words for you, “You matter!” What you do, say and want matter. Since you say this has been going on your whole life, may I suggest joining a church. You will definitely find support there. Or consider talking to a PhD. Talking to a professional can give you a whole new perspective and you won’t feel judged, as you may feel with friends or family. I wish you the best

    Reply
  17. Your POS article comes across as condescending and judgmental. You remind me of those selfish cocksuckers that hide their unwillingness to spare time/help, under such excuses.

    Reply
  18. People like you and this uncaring “Your the problem” I dont care your bothering me attitude, “I know best “are the very people that others struggling for understanding are seeking advice about.How ironic.

    Reply
  19. I appreciated this article and i think Keshav is trying to help people in the way he honestly believes is best. There’s no point in sugar-coating your opinions, when you’re direct it enables people to genuinely encounter the information and think about what they believe and why.

    In my view, the problem with this article is it blends true things together in a way that reads as if lonelier people are less perfect. The truth is, being an outsider doesn’t mean you need more improvement than somebody well-adjusted and satisfied. The feeling of being unloved shouldn’t be contributed to personal failing. When you can’t conform to what society expects of you, it can bring isolation. You could be a psycho and that’s why nobody talks to you, alternatively, you could be gay and that’s why nobody talks to you. It completely depends.

    I have struggled with a lot of personal problems like everyone and can attest that no love is more important than our own. I recently found myself in a position of being loved and cherished by many but feeling love starved inside. That is because no matter how much love you are receiving from others, it can’t replace your own. So a lot of people have a well of loneliness and pain that is bottomless and they will always find faults with themselves and with the love others try to give them. You can’t fully open your heart to people if you don’t let yourself feel your own unconditional love. It is also difficult for people to stay in your life if you don’t let them in because you hate yourself.

    So i think that the answer lies in your own heart, but not the blame for your issues. There is no use in morality anyway, just follow your heart. The answer to feeling unloved is starting with your own love, not self improvement. Naturally, this will improve your relationship with other genuine people. There are tons of shallow people that don’t care about you if you don’t play their game. Those aren’t who you want as friends anyway.

    I also think that in the self help genre, emotions are made out to be an enemy, when in reality, i think we live to feel and experience, and it’s about the depth of experience, not the stability or the control. I don’t like when people say you should own your day and your life. You can’t put a grid on life and control isn’t happiness. I think it intimidates a lot of people when they hear they should be their best selves, and always work towards self improvement. People should just try to be themselves. That’s hard enough. There are always more ways you can theoretically be superior, but when you focus on that you lose the essence of yourself that makes you unique. Everything you need is inside of you, and trying to be perfect is a waste of energy. You’re never going to be perfect, and it would be boring if you could. What’s the point of controlling what you feel? If you’re honest about what you feel than you can engage with it, learn from it, gain from it. When you suppress your emotions you lose touch with yourself and you don’t know what you want or who you are.

    If you are feeling alone and like nobody loves you, let me tell you something. I honestly believe that life is a beautiful thing to be loved unconditionally. And you are part of life, and should start with yourself. When you let that love fill your heart everything will look different and you will just want to share it. And it is infinite. To be honest and care about other life is to be lonely sometimes and to feel a lot of pain. And that’s okay. I used to insulate myself from everyone, trying to be as indifferent as possible because i couldn’t face the idea of rejection. I never extended a hand in friendship to anyone, because that was showing i cared and to care is to potentially get hurt. I didn’t appreciate myself then, and lived on pride. Now i realize you don’t have to be indifferent; you can let people affect you, let the world in, go through all the emotions that are part of life and make stories and songs interesting. You can be rejected and feel hurt without it changing how you view yourself. Being yourself and loving that person gives you the strength to face all those challenges.

    Person reading this, you deserve love. Everyone deserves love( and it only makes people kinder) Whatever anybody says, you deserve love. And if people are mistreating you, that does not mean you aren’t good enough. You are worth it. Whoever you are, i believe in you. I really, truly believe in you. The world is full of zombies, and connecting with people on a deep level is rarer than it should be. But it is possible, i promise. And you don’t have to be lonely, even when you are alone. There is infinite love in the universe. Just follow your heart. If everyone followed their heart right now the world would transform instantly.

    Reply
  20. Author of this blog should be broken on the wheel. Professionals say mental health is just as physical so it should go in both way. Inducing mental health is not so easy, psychosis can be tricky and killing his family and friends is not so easy way to give him depression. So, good old breaking on the wheel, breaking every large bone into pieces. And while he is still alive, some burning with napalm can help, but not too much. And then he should be left to die slowly, very slowly, it would be probably few days but if he get “lucky”, he may have problem of broken bones for whole week or even more.
    And of course, he will not let this comment or he will delete it. But trust me, broken motivational speaker a day keeps bad feelings away.

    Reply
  21. I surely need to work on myself . Probably I did every single thing from the list you wrote and the weird thing is it took only one situation in life to realize how weak mentally I am to handle a betrayal .
    In general I used to have a very naive view of the world, holding my heart on my sleeve, have faith in people etc . I guess I had really good childhood years and in general most of my life I had Really good people around me! What a blessing right ???
    Unfortunately a betrayal Coming in the total wrong time broke me mentally. It’s been nine months trying to understand why this happened to me …. Nothing can help me , no quotes can help me , I can’t forgive , let go , stop remember, and I have tired the friend that tried to help me. I let the pain poison my soul and become a bad angry person, I became that tiring drama queen no one would like if they met… I hate the way I have become.
    I can’t deal with betrayal, and lack of justice. I got shocked by a person and that changed all my insight towards people and me . I reacted really bad to a really bad betrayal …. Lost my cool. Losing my “cool” and reacting bad made me lose a lot of my right . It’s a no win situation when others don’t give a shit , and don’t feel any guilt what so ever .
    The only way to solve my problem is to work on myself because the others have no problem at all be the assholes they are and still go on with their life feeling no guilt what so ever or care.
    Was it bad I had such a dreamy idea of life before …? Accepting that humans are rotten is a very big change for me to see the world . I don’t know if I’m ready to accept this in total because the way I live will be much more cosious towards humans …
    Them that don’t care if they killed a person…. Does this mean they have worked more on their self …..? Do I need to become like them ?
    Anyway hope I find some peace one day but I surely need to get over lot of myself and simplify things .

    Reply
    • Please don’t think too much. Just try to move on and appreciate even the little positive things in your life. Believe me, no one from outside is going to help. You will have to become your own best friend. Forgive yourself and love yourself. Blessings!!

      Reply
  22. Ah yes. The famous “it’s the victim’s fault” argument. Classic. Of course humanity’s norms are good and should never be questioned. Forgot how individualistic, unempathetic, and self-centered people are nowadays. “Don’t bother me with your pain”. Lol yeah, ok. Sorry again for existing. And that only reinforces the issue. Never-ending cycle.
    I appreciate the intent of trying to help though, but I honestly think the flea causing this feeling of not caring is actually people’s lack of empathy, not the ones who feel unloved themselves. Fact is… Actually, most people don’t care about others as long as they can’t benefit from them and as long as they don’t fit their toxic positivity standards. THIS in my opinion is the real issue.

    Reply

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